March 29th, …And the survey says?!

We finally received the results of Kathryn's genetic tests! In case you missed the first half of season one, let's review. Most of Robyn's pregnancy was fine—even boring with hardly any symptoms—then one day they said she had stopped growing and wanted to induce labor because they didn't know what was wrong. A few days later they said "no, she's still growing so we aren't going to induce, but she has brain damage." Soon they decided to induce anyway, because they didn't know what was causing the brain damage and decided that she was, after all, a little small (though, they didn't know how small). Then they told us something was definitely wrong, but they didn't know what it was. A day or two later they were saying "wow, she looks normal" and didn't know how that could possibly be. Then it was a brain storage syndrome, but they didn't know which one, and then there was the time she had HCMV—although the brain damage caused by HCMV didn't typically look like this, so "this is confusing," and "we aren't sure what it means." Then she was totally fine, except for this brain storage syndrome that she may or may not have, and was sent home. The long-chain fatty acids looked okay though, and the first half of the tests came back clean so it probably wasn't a storage syndrome, but they still didn't know and said we needed to wait 7 – 21 days for the tests. Forty-two days later they didn't know what was taking so long with the tests and, by the way, the numbers from first half of testing all look good but the ratios are wrong. "What does that mean," I asked, and was told—you guessed it—"I'm not sure." That pretty much wraps up the first half of "As The Kathryn Grows" and I know a lot of you have been waiting for this—some of you rather impatiently, I might add—so without further adieu, let's open the envelope and see what new thing we don't know today!

The results of Kathryn's genetic tests came back CLEAN. God has answered our prayers, and there's no brain storage syndrome. She's expected to live a perfectly average amount of time. By the way I do know the average life span for a female in the United States is 80.8 years which estimates her death on December 8th, 2092. But let's not get morbid here, folks. So anyway, "what DID cause the brain damage", you ask. Well, Kathryn's MRI was taken to a conference of neurologists for show and tell. I suppose that's a normal thing for them to do, but if it's anything like the conferences I go to, they're mostly eating at the fanciest restaurants they can get reservations at and swapping neurology jokes. That reminds me, did you hear the one about the guy who needed a brain transplant? He was told the brain of a top-notch mathematician would cost him $10,000, and that of a world-renowned astro-physicist would run $20,000. If he wanted the brain of a politician, they said, he needed to fork over $40,000! He says to the doctor, "Why on earth does the brain of a politician cost so much more than those of people who are clearly much cleverer?"

Oh, right the MRI. I get distracted easily; sorry about that. Okay, so the neurologists at the conference decided that the HCMV was the likely cause of the damage shown on the MRI. If you remember, we were told that a viral infection in the brain would have calcifications that weren't symmetrical and evenly distributed like hers are, but the conference consensus was that it isn't so unlikely. According to ostispregnancy.org (PDF), "eighty-five to ninety percent of babies that are born with a CMV infection (congenital CMV) will not show any symptoms at birth. Most of these babies will not develop problems from the disease later on. However, 10 – 15% of babies with congenital CMV that do not show symptoms at birth will still develop some of the long term effects such as hearing loss and learning difficulties." So in six months we'll have her hearing tested again, and around two years of age, if she's falling behind in her development, we'll do another MRI. In the mean time, we'll continue to pray and wait. There's nothing the doctors can do at this point, except observe and test, but we've seen God do amazing things for Kathryn already and look forward to watching our little miracle grow up and develop into whoever she's going to be.

So what about that politician's brain? The punchline is… OH LOOK, shiney things!

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I stole a baby?

Baby Thievery

Robyn and I had come to visit with a friend who was waiting to deliver at Valley Care Medical Center and we had Kathryn, our three week old daughter.  When Robyn delivered at Kaiser in Walnut Creek we were told children under 12 were not allowed unless they were siblings and, if I had thought about it, I would have assumed this would be the same at VCMC.  However, our friend hadn't mentioned this rule, so it didn't cross my mind and we brought her along.  Of course we were stopped immediately at the front desk and I was sent home with Kathryn to feed her while Robyn visited with our friends.  That's how I ended up in the elevator, alone with my daughter, and almost found myself in a rent-a-cop prison (which doubles as the hospital's janitorial supplies closet).


As the doors to the labor and delivery elevator were closing a nurse who happened to be walking by paused to ask, "Did you sign your baby out?" and just as they closed, I replied with a casual, "nope."  I knew what she was really asking me though, since Kathryn had just been released from the NICU two weeks before and the process for taking your baby home was still fresh in my memory.  She thought I was stealing a baby, and might have been especially sensitive since a baby went missing in another local hospital just a few weeks before.

I actually made it all the way outside with my "stolen" baby as booty before they ran me down with shouts of "sir, please stay where you are," "do not move," and "we need to inspect your baby."  I briefly thought about running just to see how far I could get before they gave up, but on the off chance the gun in his holster wasn't just the squirt kind, I decided to stop.  It wouldn't be my first time in police handcuffs, but I hadn't done anything wrong this time so I turned around to face the badged man with the gun, a hospital administrator with a whistle, and a nurse calling in a "code pink" on her walkie talkie.  They told me that my baby had a bracelet on her leg which needed to be removed before she left the hospital, and were a little flustered when I explained to them that my girl had been born three weeks prior at Kaiser in Walnut Creek.  I told them I was pretty sure she didn't have an alarm bracelet, but they were welcome to check.

I've since thought about going back to test their procedures.  I had gotten all the way out to the parking lot before they stopped me and, since there was a blanket over the car seat the entire time, I was pretty sure they had never actually seen a baby.  Next time I'll load it with a sack of potatoes and toss it in the bushes as I dive into the getaway car.  Anybody wanna drive for me?